Whirlwind

Wow... the beginning of the year seems like a whirlwind. I have one of the coolest classes of my career. They are spunky, sweet and loads of fun. The worst thing I can think to say is that they TALK NONSTOP. (But hey.. so does their teacher, so what!) I've got such a variety..it's like hitting up the best of the best in Whole Foods. I've got a delightful Vietnamese student who constantly compliments me. I've got an Iranian kid who, at first, was extremely skittish (and I wondered if we were going to bond at all.) I've got a Bosnian student who has the COOLEST accent ever and gets my sarcasm completely. (Despite the language issue!) I have an Indian, a Venezuelan, some Mexican (American) students, etc. They are so diverse and have so much to share, I love it.
I'm also the team leader this year (again) and it's crazy. My team is mostly newer teachers and there are a lot of questions, but I love it. I love being someone who they can go to for help (even if I get nothing done in the process).
How in the world can people go to jobs where they are loaded down by paperwork, fussy clients and little/no breaks? Well, I do it daily. And I must say, it is sooooo worth it. Having those little boogers write on their behavior charts (before I get to it to sign) and put notes like "I love my silly teacher" and "Have a great night"... who couldn't ask for better? Certainly not me.

So Tired!

Anyone who complains about teacher's having the summers off... they know NOTHING. School started on the 23rd of August and I'm already exhausted. An average day is from 7:30 till whenever I can't function enough to stay. That's usually around 6, 6:30. Then we are on a roll because when I get home, I have more work to do! Yikes a RONI!

But it's so worth it. My kids this year are the Treasure Box of kids, just unbelievably sweet. It's been three weeks and I look forward to every morning. Even on my cranky day last week it took about 10 minutes before I had forgotten what in the world I was cranky about.

It's Saturday...so you know what I am about to do! (Go grade some papers!)

Working on some things...

It's interesting, coming to know Christ. At first I feel this urge to read my Bible every day. And then, when I can't get to it I feel guilty.
I'm working on that. I know I have to give myself some grace.

And then you learn about how the devil works against you in so many ways to question your life and what you know. Funny thing is, he's so crafty that he works into you and has you questioning alot more than you bargained for. You find yourself questioning whether or not you should be questioning things. Is it the devil working against you, or is it just basic common sense?
I'm working on that. I am struggling with things that I know bother me and frustrate me. Things that, when I work with others and am councelled, they say that these things are NORMAL and JUSTIFIED. But then, I'm told otherwise. I'm told that by questioning, I'm doing the wrong thing. Are the things that I am against and questioning things that the devil is telling me are wrong, or is the Lord telling me that they are wrong or inappropriate and I should question them?

I know... stupid post. But I had to get it off my chest.

Taking a little initiative...

Sometimes, an idea pops into your head and you love it. You instantly love and and hope that it's something that could materialize. In the past, I've heard others reference "accountability groups" and various sorts of bible study groups. I've wanted to be a part of them, but haven't. Why? For many reasons, to be honest. To list a few, I was scared. I wasn't brought up in a "church" home. My parents chose not to baptize me, thinking it was a decision I needed to make as an adult.
Don't misundersand, I'm not mad. Coming to the decision to give my life to Christ was an easy one, but where to go from there was the part I wasn't sure about. Being in your late 20's and realizing that you don't really know the Bible is scary to some people, primarily myself. I could recount details from various texts, but not the Bible. I'd been under the impression that faith was something private, that you held dear to your heart but didn't "burden" others with. Wow... Funny thing is, God knew these things and when I was ready, he sprayed a little Windex on the windows and told me to look out. It was clear.
Our church just did a series on the lies the devil tells you. One of those lies is that your faith is private. (NOPE) You share your faith with others, build your body of Christ and learn from others.

I recently took the initiative to contact a small group of women that I know and invited them to be my accountability. I didn't know if it was something they were interested in, or would even want. I just knew that I needed REAL WOMEN to talk to about my own life. I wanted women to sit down and say, "You know, I am NOT okay..." I wanted to ask people to pray for my struggles. I sent out an email, and the most awesome thing happened.

Each woman said yes. Each woman said that THEY TOO had prayed for something similar. Each woman wanted to be a part of something bigger than themselves. My heart was overjoyed and still is.

Tonight, my husband mentioned that he wanted a compatibility partner as well. He struggles, just as I do, with things that are not controlled without God. It makes my heart soar to see my relationships with others grow as I grow with God.

A Dream Come True...

I've been married now for 2 1/2 years. It's been a learning experience for both my husband and I, constantly learning "husband/wife" stuff. It's funny how many people go into marriage imagining something and really seeing it for what it is later. It's so much more than you ever really dream about. I'm learning that I love my husband more and more each day, and that with each new day we grow more with each other.

I've been hoping that we would grow closer to Christ through each other for a long time, but trying to figure out how to do that has been harder than it seems. When my husband came home from his recent trip, he'd changed. Grown, perhaps, in a different way. He pushed me to begin reading my bible and then did exactly as he said I should. I felt that he was teaching me something new.

Funny thing is, he was doing just that. (And he probably doesn't know it.) He was teaching me how to find another level of intimacy with Christ, and yet another bond with him.

My husband really is a dream come true.

Summertime...

"Summertime....and the living is easy." Not only is this song one of my favorites from George Gershwin's Porgy and Bess, but my favorite version of it is sung by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. It seems to encompass all that is summertime from my childhood and summers I long to come.
It's taken from a lullaby and has such a carefree feeling to it, it makes you want to throw on a sundress, spread out a blanket and lie in the middle of a field watching the day pass you by. Perhaps you might go to the creek's edge and cool your feet, read a book, take it easy.
That's what summer is for me. June is my month to calm down from the school year, then get some things accomplished. Then...I have July to stop and enjoy myself. I've done a good job this summer of relaxing and taking it easy. The first summer in a while I've truly done this.
School is starting back up soon, and I feel that same feeling in my soul to begin the busy bee actions to get prepared for the new "year". But, for the last couple of days of July... I'll take it mostly easy.

Summertime,

And the livin' is easy

Fish are jumpin'

And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich

And your mamma's good lookin'

So hush little baby

Don't you cry

One of these mornings

You're going to rise up singing

Then you'll spread your wings

And you'll take to the sky

But till that morning

There's a'nothing can harm you

With daddy and mamma standing by

Enjoy......

 You Tube...Ella and Louis sing Summertime

A moment of confusion...

This won't make sense to most, but I've been toying with some interesting revelations lately. I enjoy people watching. (Not in a perverse sense, but in a curious, "What are they doing, thinking and feeling?" sense.) I've made the following observations:

1. People say they are not worried about others' perceptions of them, but they stand around constantly tugging at their skirt hem and readjusting their hair. They look around to see if anyone has noticed, and when it appears as if no one has, they continue readjusting themselves. People, essentially, are insecure.
2. Very few people let you in on what's in their heart. They are constantly showing an outward appearance and facade. Maybe they paste on a smile because they want everyone to imagine they are happy. Or they flirt when no one is looking because they enjoy the thrill. (And, essentially, are insecure.) They lie.
3. People struggle with making good decisions and instead make impulsive decisions that provide immediate gratification. Children do this, which makes me wonder if these same people were never shown consequences for their actions, and have now turned into adults who cannot make adult decisions.

This doesn't necessarily apply to everyone. I'm certain that some will read this and wonder if they are the person I was watching. Essentially, people are insecure. We struggle to ultimately give our lives over to God and have faith that through prayer we can/will make good and better decisions for our lives. Our outward appearance will mirror our inward beliefs and thoughts.

Summer Vacation

 

Summer vacation is here. My husband travels a month at a time, and gratefully he is home for my first "official" week off. I've gotten ZERO accomplished, but I don't feel bad. It's only Tuesday. I've got a crazy list of things I want to accomplish this summer, and sad to say, I need something/someone to hold me to my list. So here it goes, in no particular order, and all to be accomplished at some point.

• Read at least 4 professional books (I already have them in my bad and would be VERY happy if I could read more than these 4, since they aren't very lengthy.
• Work out 4 of the 7 days of the week.
• Clean the guest bedroom and attempt to organize that God-awful bag-o-crap of your husbands since you know he is not going to do it. 
• Dogs need shots and grooming
• Go to New York and having a great time...you deserve some vacation and you deserve this opportunity.)
• Take pictures...lots. Then, scrapbook them.
• Go somewhere with your husband.

Like I said... it's an interesting list, but it's things I want to accomplish. There are a MILLION more things I can add, like looking for PETER PAN stuff for my second grade team. Whoop! I also need to redo the second grade planning room.... and I have ideas.... :)

Off for now, enjoy life people!

The End is Near... and Summer Begins

Yesterday was Friday. The last official Friday of the school year, for the kids. I must admit, this is a funny time of year. Some of the kids are really coming together, the way I wanted them to. Some of them are falling apart in front of me. Last year I had a student, who we will call Charming. Why? Because he was. He was so smart and sweet and with a spunky attitude to boot! His situation was a sad one. He started his year with me as a homeless student. No home to call their own. His mother was dating a man and they lived with him, but towards the end of the year they broke up and she found herself without a home again. And a car. They lived in a hotel and she rented a car, which she didn't pay for. To make a long story short, she was arrested for nonpayment and they had to stay with a short term foster parent to end the year until "dad" came to get them from out of state. His financial situation wasn't much better. I watched a brilliant, charismatic boy fall apart before my very eyes because his world of consistency and order (from 8-3:30) was about to end. It broke my heart.
I don't know what happened with Charming. He didn't come back to school this year and I can only hope that he found somewhere safe to be and a consistent life that would support his potential. I watch as some of my students, and other teachers' students fall apart. We look at our kids and wonder why they behave so badly at the end of the year, but we fail to see what is really going on.

I love the people who look at me and say, "Ah... the life of a teacher. Summers off. Must be nice." I know it's not nice, but I want to slap them when they say it. I don't sit around eating bonbons and reading stories all day. I work my butt off. I get there early and work non stop till the buses roll. I get, if I am lucky, a 20 minute lunch break to eat as fast as I can, and that is IF I don't have a student who needs something during my lunch. I spend my "planning" periods in meetings or working in my room. I work after school and still take home papers to grade. I spend my free time reading about how to be better and thinking of ways to target my students who aren't successful and ways to target my students who are so successful they are getting bored. When I am there, I have every single one of my senses turned on full blast so that I can hear, see and smell everything that goes on in my room. After all, who wants to be the teacher who missed something happen? You have to be cognizant of everything around you all the time.

And then the end of the year comes. You think you are exhausted and ready for summer break, but you are really just eager to start thinking of more for next year. You look around and see that while some of those kids are ready to go, others are scared of the end. And I get to spend all summer worried about whether or not they'll eat every day, get love every day, and whether or not they will read often.

Those people who envy my summers off... they wouldn't last a week as teacher. At least not a good one. The end is near, and I think I might already miss my kids a little.

End of the Year Blues

It's the end of the school year and I am exhausted. Most of my kids are starting to get quite unruly, just for the sheer anticipation of the summer. I, on the other hand, have mixed feelings. Suddenly my kids are doing what I wanted (academically) all year. They are reading with the delighted expression I dreamed of hearing. They are writing stories and are excited about publishing their final copies and moving on to another story. And they are complaining when the math isn't harder so they can have to work harder at it.

Who are these kids and what did they do with those other ones? (And is it mean of me to say, good riddance to those who left?) This is the hard part of the year, the final moments when we get it done, and get it right. And this is the part that makes me wish they had come to me this way to begin with. I'm glad we have our learning camp next week... Ancient Egypt here we come!

And so I guess as I let my students go to the next level (I've asked a few to stay just to hang out with me, but they've politely declined) I will begin thinking of how I can mold my new ones next year faster. And then I get a little excited about next year.

They are learning earlier and earlier...

This was an extraordinarily long week. My students (and I) are in the last stretch of the year, and they are very wiggly. I find myself more and more exhausted as the day ends, almost fighting to stay alert and awake.

Today one of my students, we'll call him Picasso, found himself in an interesting predicament. He had gotten into an altercation with another student yesterday over Pokemon cards. (I would like to write my legislator and request they be banned.) I informed him that I was just SO disappointed that I couldn't even look in his direction. He was far too smart for these actions. Later in the morning, he approached me and gave me a hug. He whispered in my ear, "I'm so sorry about getting into that fight." I told him I forgave him, but it didn't take away that I was disappointed.

So you wonder where I'm going with this. Going to lunch he stops me and says, "You know, you should really wear your hair like that more often. It looks so good." I was baffled. Like this? Like how? He says, "In a ponytail."

I wear my hair in a ponytail EVERY DAY. It doesn't start that way, but it ends that way. This day is no different. Then, of all things, he winks at me.

Wow. They are learning earlier and earlier. I don't ever remember "sweet talking" my teachers.

Babysitting

Today I took the day away from my students to spend time with my neice. My sister in law was at the hospital having a baby (yeah) and I took care of the little one at home.

I loved it! She is quite the knucklehead, but it's fun. It is amazing to me, that magical moment in a girl's life when she crosses over from "I love Dora" to "oooooohhhhh....Princesses and the Prince!" It makes my day. She even runs across the room and fake cries to be funny, the way Sleeping Beaut throws herself across the bed to cry at the injustice of being a princess who can't meet up with her mystery man from the woods. I can't wait to partake in this magical motherhood stuff... one of these days I suppose, when He's ready.

Margins

Yesterday at church we talked about margins and the importance they play in our faith and our daily lives. It struck me to my core.


Pastor Tom said that when we allow for no margin in our money and daily lives, we aren't trusting God to provide for us as needed.

I am praying for strength to put more margin in my life. To not push it to the limit with my actions and my money. To stand proudly, and let Him provide, without stressing over it.

I guess, I'm giving it to Him.
Thrive Church

Who do you work for?

I've recently found a new church to go to called Thrive. I was desperate for a church home to call my own and I really feel like I have found it. There isn't a Sunday that goes by that I feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself, and yet I don't feel lost in the crowd. Every Sunday I walk away with something that validates me and what I do, not to mention that I am able to walk away with a lesson for my life.

Last Sunday was no different. We are doing a series all about Work. This past Sunday our pastor, Tom, posed the question, "Who do you work for?" Hmmm... interesting question. I work for my school district and for the children I teach. I work for the parents who pay the taxes which pay my salary. I work for myself and my husband, our two dogs and that nutty feline of mine. I work so that we can have somewhere to live, food to eat, so on and so forth.

But that isn't right. According to the Bible, I work for HIM. I do everything in this life to bring Him glory and to ensure my place in his kingdom. Pastor Tom posed yet another interesting thought. "It doesn't matter if you HATE the place you work, as long as you work every day as if you work for Him."

And that made me think. I am SO BLESSED. I am so blessed to have had the foresight to choose a career that already brings Glory to Him. I've chosen a career that constantly keeps me guessing, motivated and working harder to be better. I work for Him, to bring the children of today an opportunity that they may not even know they have in from of them. Everyday, I work harder and harder, because I am doing God's work. Wow... how many people can say that they had the foresight to choose God's work even before they realized that it was their JOB to work as if they were working for HIM?

I must say... I think I shall pat myself on the back. :)